Ointment Transcript 3/30/07

"The Ointment" Episode #268 "Week in Review 3/30/07"

It's Friday March 30, 2007 and you are watching The Ointment. I'm Steve Tatham, now with less sodium. This weekend is Al Gore's birthday. You know Al's not running for President but he will be celebrating his birthday without candles - because, you know what, no emissions. Fridays here on the show we take a look back at some of the stories from this past week, so let's get right to it.

TITLE: Iran on $12 a Day
Our top story... We have photographs of those troops from the UK who are being held hostage by Iran. Here you can see them eating while in captivity. One of them was overheard saying, "Well, at least the food here is better than it is in England."

TITLE: War Games
British Prime Minister Tony Blair said that the situation with Iran just may escalate. As he and Bush have carefully planned.

TITLE: GONE-zales
Turning to domestic matters, US Attorney General Albert Gonzales is facing more and more calls for his resignation including from US Senator Dianne Feinstein. Is Alberto still here by the way? Yes, he's still here. As of... as of right now he's still here. But, here's the update - he's packing.

TITLE: Bag Bashing
The city of San Francisco has outlawed the use of non-recyclable plastic bags. Unless, of course, those bags are used in an act of safe gay sex. What that would be is up to you.

TITLE: Cover Story
The big news in the publishing world is the new cover of the Harry Potter book has just been revealed. And here you can see the cover. The rejected cover was a picture of Harry Potter totally naked.

TITLE: Tall Tale
The world's tallest man, who towers over seven and a half feet tall has gotten married. He has married a woman who is five-foot-six inches tall. She is 28 years old. At 2/3 his height she is half his age. However, she does posses ten times the ability to endure crotch pain as he.

TITLE: GONE-zales Update
Is he still here? Yeah, he's still here. He's packing but he's still here. Still here now? He's still here.

TITLE: Bod for Sale
In entertainment news, Sylvester Stallone has hired a 30 year-old body double to stand in for him during some scenes during the making of the new "Rambo" film. That's right, he has hired a body double to stand in for him during the production of "Rambo". It has yet to be announced, however, who will be standing in as his acting double.

TITLE: The Winners
Youtube has announced the winners in its first-ever Youtube Awards, which recognize that most popular videos on the video-sharing Web site. The look of the award, however, has yet to be revealed because Youtube hasn't yet decided which established media company it's going to rip off its award from.

TITLE: Anna Nicole Smith Autopsy Results
We have the results of Anna Nicole Smith's autopsy. According to a coroner's report, the results of the autopsy indicate that her body was 98% plastic.

TITLE: News Quiz
And finally, we wrap up each week with our news quiz question. Today's question is about Karl Rove who rapped his way into the hearts of correspondents at the annual correspondents dinner. The question is: What is Karl Rove's hip-hop name?
Is it?
A) MC Rove
B) The Phat Man
or
C) Subpoena Dodgy Dodge?

That's "The Ointment" for another week. I'm Steve Tatham and that's news. Have a great weekend, everybody.

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