Ointment Transcript 4/6/07

"The Ointment" Episode #273: "Week in Review: 4/6/07"

It's Friday, April 6, 2007 and you are watching "The Ointment." I'm Steve Tatham and I put the hippity in "hippity-hoppity." Fridays here on the show we take a look back at some of our favorite stories from the past week, so let's get right to it.

TITLE: Green Supremes
Our top story: the United States Supreme Court ruled that the Environmental Protection Agency can actually regulate carbon emissions from automobiles. This is a blow to the Bush administration. Imagine their surprise when they learned that the Environmental Protection Agency is actually allowed to protect the environment.

TITLE: Absentee Voters
In other political news, Barack Obama, the United States Senator who's running for President of the United States, said that he does not believe the Democratic-lead US Senate will vote to ending funding for the war in Iraq because, despite strongly held beliefs, this would involve - how do you say? Oh yeah, following through on a conviction.

TITLE: Spent
Turning to business news, New Century, the big mortgage company in Irvine, California, has gone Chapter 11 - a sign of the slumping housing industry. This is a mortgage company that used to give a lot of loans to people with very poor credit. But the company has a plan for turning itself around. Now that it has bad credit, it's gonna loan itself a lot of money.

TITLE: Tommy Can They Hear You?
In other campaign news, Republican Tommy Thompson declared that he is a candidate for President of the United States. Well, it's not really so much news as it is a sad cry for attention.

TITLE: What Else is On?
Iranian television broadcast new footage of UK soldiers being held hostage in Iran. The Fox television network immediately optioned the footage for a new television reality series called "Who Wants to Start a War?"

TITLE: Exit Strategy
The country of Iran has released all 15 UK troops that it was holding hostage. President Bush said "Well, that's OK. We'll find another reason to go to war with them."

TITLE: Who's the Boss?
Speaker of the House, Nancy Pelosi, is in Syria, a nation that the U.S. considers a terrorist state. President Bush, from Washington D.C., said "I don't like her going to Syria. I don't approve. But at least it's better than her being here."

TITLE: Has He Found What He's Looking For Yet?
Rock star, Bono, of U2, was knighted this week by the Queen of England. And he said "I'm happy to be knighted but I'm not gonna rest until I'm sainted."

TITLE: Father Blows Best
Keith Richards is denying reports that he took his father's remains as ashes - mixed 'em together with cocaine and then snorted them. As delightful an idea as that is, he says it's not true. And if you look at this picture of Keith Richards, you kinda have to ask yourself, "Maybe he was snorting his own remains."

TITLE: News Alert
Pop icon Hilary Duff said she feels pressure not to be fat and to stay thin. Oh, you know, my bad. I got confused. I thought I was reading the newspaper but apparently I was reading Hilary Duff's diary.

TITLE: News Quiz
And finally... we wrap up each week with our news quiz question. Today's question is about Easter. The question is "Why bunnies?" Is it because
A) Bunnies symbolize fertility and rebirth
B) Bunnies have the strongest lobby
or
C) Easter Jackalope is just too hard to spell

That's "The Ointment" for another week. Thanks for tuning in. I'm Steve Tatham and that's news. Have a great weekend and a great Easter, everybody.

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