Ointment Transcript 5/7/07

"The Ointment" Episode #293: "A Long and Winding Road"

It's Monday, May 7, 2007 and you are watching "The Ointment." Believe it or not, it was 37 years ago today that the Beatles released their very last single. I'm Steve Tatham and it's been a long and winding road here on "The Ointment" because this week marks our 300th show which we will observe on Friday. But let's get to today's news.

TITLE: French Twist
Our top story: we have a winner in the French election for president. Nicholas Sarkozy was the victor over Segelene Royal. Msr. Sarkozy has pledged to reinvigorate the French work ethic. So don't be surprised next time you're on vacation in Paris when you order something, somebody actually listens. The turnout in France was an astounding 84% which proves one thing: on a Sunday afternoon, not much to do there in France.

TITLE: Minority Report
Meanwhile back in the USA, President Bush hit an all-time low in the latest Newsweek poll. His approval rating is 28%, the lowest in decades for any president. A spokesperson for the White House said "We have a long way to go. You ain't seen nothin' yet." Although "nothin'" may be exactly where they're headed.

TITLE: Hair-Raising Statement
Meanwhile, campaigning there in Iowa, presidential candidate Rudy Giuliani called President Bush a "great president." But, then again, this is the guy who, for years, thought this was a great haircut.

TITLE: Book Worm
George Tenet, the former director of the CIA, who once said that the intelligence leading up to the Iraq war made the case for war a "slam dunk," is now out there promoting his new book, which criticizes the Bush administration's handling of the war. Sure, now he wants to play by the book.

TITLE: Once You Go Barack You Never Go Back
A new report in yesterday's Sunday Times of London is saying that many people are defecting from the GOP to support Barack Obama. Republicans supporting Barack Obama? Just wait until they find out he loves gays and hates fetuses.

TITLE: Stable Monarchy
Over the weekend, Street Sense won the Kentucky Derby, the greatest prize in all of horse racing. In attendance in the crowd was England's Queen Elizabeth. It's a good thing that her daughter-in-law Camilla wasn't there. Because somebody just may have saddled her up.

TITLE: Confirming Her Reservation
In entertainment news, Paris Hilton is going to jail. A Los Angeles judge has sentenced her to 45 days in jail following violations of the terms following her drunk-driving conviction. And this is going to be a first for Hilton. It's the first time she's been held prisoner while wearing her panties.

TITLE: No Biz Like It
And finally, in entertainment news, Spider-Man 3 smashed all box-office records by earning $148 million over the weekend. The film cost about $275 million to make, which is about the same amount of money we spend each and every day to run the war in Iraq. And there's one thing audiences like better about Spider-Man 3 than they do the war in Iraq. And that is, that Spider-Man has an ending.

That's "The Ointment" for another day. Thank for tuning in. I'm Steve Tatham and that's news. We'll catch you tomorrow everybody.

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