Ointment Transcript 4/25/07

"The Ointment" Episode #285: "Guest: Jesse Brune"

STEVE: It's Wednesday, April 25, 2007 and you are watching "The Ointment." I'm Steve Tatham. Today is "Administrative Professionals' Day", or as it used to be known, "Secretaries' Day." And before that it was, uh, "Hey, Beautiful, Fetch Me a Cup o' Joe, Would Ya?"

TITLE: Buy High, Sell Low
STEVE: Our top story: bad news for homeowners. Sales of existing houses dropped by the biggest margin in twenty years. So now, instead of sitting around counting how big of a pile of money you're sitting on, you're gonna have to go outside and go to work.

TITLE: Special Guest
STEVE: Wednesdays here on the show, we invite a special guest into the studio. Today we have a reality TV star. His name is Jesse Brune and he's a guest with whom I have about nothing in common. His two biggest interests are working out and cooking. I do neither one.

OFFSCREEN VOICE (MARY): Wouldn't it be funnier if you said "Because he's buff and he... "

STEVE: Wednesdays here on the show, we invite a special guest into the studio. Today we have reality TV star, Jesse Brune, from Bravo TV's "Workout." And he's a guest with whom I have virtually nothing in common because he's buff and he cooks. He's a Cordon Bleu-trained chef and a fitness instructor and you can see him doing these two things every Tuesday at 10PM on Bravo TV. Today he's going to cook something for us. That's right, we're doing a cooking segment. I feel just like Regis. Does Regis do cooking segments? I don't know. But, I bet, if he did, they'd be great. So, we're gonna go to the kitchen and I asked Jesse to make something simple that we could make at home and that we could make in three minutes. So, let's go to the kitchen and check it out.

STEVE: We are in the kitchen. And since I don't know what to do in the kitchen, I have help here from Jesse Brune from Bravo TV's "Workout" and he's gonna make something delicious for us, aren't ya?

JESSE: Yes. Delicious and simple... and fast.

STEVE: Delicious, simple and fast?

JESSE: The kind of qualities that I usually use to describe myself.

STEVE: Really? OK, well, I can't wait, then. Um, so so tell us about it.

JESSE: All right. So seeing how it's springtime, I thought it'd be nice to actually... this is my favorite soup. I fell in love with it in New York for summer. It's a chilled cucumber soup.

STEVE: Sounds great.

JESSE: Super quick. Super easy. We're actually using the "dumping method" which is a very technical term.

STEVE: Now that doesn't sound so tasty.

JESSE: Well it's a very fancy... it's French I believe. Dumping. Um, and um...

STEVE: Wait, wait. Speaking of French, you actually studied French cooking...

JESSE: Mm-hmm, at Le Cordon Bleau.

STEVE: Now that's fancy.

JESSE: That is. I, I, I felt very fancy for a while there. It, it... Not any more. So here's what we're gonna do: It's gonna be really quick. You got the cucumbers. We have garlic, shallots; we have some cilantro, paprika, black pepper and salt with a little organic buttermilk. All right, what we're gonna do... All you need to do this is have this: a blender. OK? We're going to simply take the cucumbers, really quick chop. I'm surprised I didn't cut my finger off. I'm like, as soon as, as soon as the pressure's on I always bleed.

STEVE: Oh, there's no pressure here.

JESSE: I feel so much pressure right now. So, I mean, the great thing about this soup is that you don't have to be precise at all. You can just, you know, whatever, whatever, whatever you're feeling that day.

STEVE Really?

JESSE: Yeah. I like to peel off a couple of... I like to peel off a little... a few layers of the skin because...

STEVE: Of your finger? Or from the...?

JESSE: Of the cucumber.

STEVE: OK.

JESSE: Of the cucumber. Because it's actually kind of bitter. And so, why don't we just start with this? Pretty much add whatever flavors you want. I like to use garlic, shallots, and, um, lemon. I think it gives it kind of a nice... a nice little zest there. And uh, you know, season. Add salt, pepper; I always put paprika in it because I put paprika in everything. And it's just to taste. However you like it. Some people like it a little more salty. You just throw everything in the blender and give it a good whirl and really , you have soup in less than a minute. We've got the shallots. It's simple but it's good. And this, honestly, should just about do it.

STEVE: That's it?

JESSE: Yeah, that's...

STEVE: I, I might be able to make this.

JESSE: Yeah, actually. Most people can. It's great.

STEVE: Can I taste it?

JESSE: Absolutely.

STEVE: Mmm.

JESSE: It's nice, right?

STEVE: That's very good. Refreshing.

JESSE: Refreshing.

STEVE: It's very spring-like.

JESSE: A little fact about cucumbers. They actually help lower your body temperature. So on a hot day, something like this would be perfect because it'll cool you off.

STEVE: Oh, really? So it's great after a workout?

JESSE: Absolutely. The trick to sprucing up any meal, really, is just a little garnish. We're using the cilantro jut to plop it in there. And then, suddenly, you're at a five-star restaurant, aren't ya?

STEVE: Look at that. That's pretty.

JESSE: There you go. Perfect. My favorite, all-time favorite summer soup.

STEVE: Well, thanks, Jesse.

JESSE: Thank you very much.

STEVE: Now tell everyone when they can watch your show.

JESSE: Well, you can watch "Workout" every Tuesday at 10PM on Bravo. You better watch it every Tuesday at 10PM on Bravo.

STEVE: It's mandatory.

JESSE: It's actually mandatory. Now it's mandatory. Yes.

STEVE: Well, thanks for coming in the kitchen.

JESSE: Thank you, so much for having me.

STEVE: Jesse Brune, ladies and gentlemen. That was Jesse Brune from Bravo TV's "Workout." Now, get cookin' out there. Even if you're at the office, whip up a little cucumber soup for you colleagues. They'll thank you.

TITLE: L.A. Not So Confidential
STEVE: And finally... from the world of entertainment we have some news from Kim Basinger or Bass-inger or as Alec Baldwin calls her, "the bitch to whom I used to be married" -- which I think is really unkind and uncalled for. She said she didn't release that audio tape; the one where Alec Baldwin is calling their daughter a "pig". She said she didn't release it. She doesn't know who did. Although she does commit to continuing to release her venom publicly on her ex-husband whenever given the opportunity.

That's "The Ointment" for another day. Thanks for tuning in. I'm Steve Tatham and that's news. We'll catch you tomorrow, everybody. Now go make some soup!

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