Ointment Transcript 4/10/07

"The Ointment" Episode #275: "Watch What You Wish For"

It's Tuesday, April 10, 2007 and you are watching "The Ointment." Today is the anniversary of the founding of the ASPCA, the association for the prevention of cruelty to animals. I'm Steve Tatham and I'm cruelty-free.

TITLE: Watch What You Wish For
Our top story: Democracy and free speech is busting out all over in Iraq. Just take a look at this, would you? Thousands of Iraqi citizens flooding the streets in protest. What a beautiful sight. There's only one catch: they're protesting the presence of US troops in Iraq. It wasn't... it wasn't supposed to work out like that, was it?

TITLE: Don't Bask, Don't Tell
Meanwhile, freedoms in the West are evaporating. The UK government is telling those recently-released hostages (the troops that were held there in Iran) that they can not tell their stories for money in the media. Isn't it great that as we fight for freedom that we're learning so much about how to suppress it?

TITLE: Hunting for Votes
Turning to political news, Mitt Romney, the Republican who's running for president of the United States, has been raising a lot of cash but he's also raising a lot of questions about his honesty. He's been telling audiences that he's a life-long hunter. Well, guess what? He's been hunting exactly two times in his life. Once when he was fifteen and once last year. As it turns out, me, Steve, I, myself: a life-long square dancer.

TITLE: Nancy Boys
In an excruciatingly embarrassing high point of amateurism, some Republican members of the US House of Representatives have sent a letter to the Speaker of the House. Ms. Pelosi has been in Syria and then they did some shopping, which they object to. She took two weeks off while the House was in recess. Now they're begging her to get back to work. "Please, Nancy, we need to fund. We need to fund the world-wide war on terror because we're here to save the planet and you just want to shop and cause trouble." Well, the funding doesn't really run out 'til sometime in the summer. But that doesn't stop the theatrics, you know. They only care about one thing: saving the planet, you know. I say, next, why don't you guys run for Miss America and stop world hunger?

TITLE: Chicks with Guns
I saw an interesting item in the newspaper today. A nine-months-pregnant store clerk shot a female robber. I didn't know if I was looking at a news item or an ad for a new Tarantino film.

TITLE: When Does Campaign 2012 Start?
And finally in political news: February 5, 2008 is becoming a very popular day on which to hold a primary election as all of the states rush to move their elections up earlier in the campaign season; because, you know what, states need just that much more attention. California's doing it. About half the states now are holding their elections on that day. We have, in effect, what is a national primary likely to decide the nominees of both political parties. So Super Tuesday, as it used to be called, is being re-christened once again. I mentioned this before, well, now it has a new name. It's now being called "Super Duper Double Delicious Extra Thank God it's Tuesday with Secret Sauce."

That's "The Ointment" for another day. Thanks for tuning in. I'm Steve Tatham and that's news. We'll catch you tomorrow, everybody.

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